Stay Calm in Love: Dr. Daitch’s Tips for a Happy Valentine’s Day

CupidValentine’s Day is just around the corner. For those couples wishing to enhance their sense of connection,

Dr. Carolyn Daitch, Director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, MI has five easy tips to recommend.


C: Communication requires de-escalation: successful communication requires deescalating your own heightened emotion before engaging your partner.

U: Understanding is NOT automatic: you and your partner are not always going to share the same perspective—so the assumption that your partner should, by default, understand your perspective can cause frustration and alienation for both of you.

P: Practice makes permanent: repeated practice, not just good intentions or a single instance of success, brings about the change in your relationship that you want to see.

I: Interdependence is the key: a good balance of dependence and independence is the key to healthy relationships.

D: Deescalate whenever needed: when you are in conflict with your partner and emotions start to escalate, take an immediate cease-fire, or “time-out” to calm down before reengaging. Heightened emotion, whether it’s anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness, only heightens disconnect in an interaction. You need to deescalate your own heightened emotion before you’re going to experience connection in any communication.

Embracing and putting these tips into action will help couples feel the warmth of Cupid’s arrow without its sting this Valentine’s Day.

CoreBrain Journal Podcast- Treatment Options for Anxiety

Listen any time to hear from Carolyn Daitch Ph.D. She is the director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, Michigan and is a Fellow with both the American and the Michigan Society of Clinical Hypnosis. She is a routinely invited speaker around the world and frequently presents on ADHD and anxiety. Recognized for her practical, easy-to-implement interventions, Dr. Daitch is the author of four books, including the award-winning Affect Regulation ToolboxAnxiety Disorders: The Go-To Guide, and Anxious in Love. Her newest book is The Road to Calm Workbook. Dr. Daitch is quick, and her experience with insightful solutions for rethinking anxiety takes a different, constructive turn. Let your Road to Calm start here!